Coming Home to Myself Through Clutter

A love letter to sensitive souls on the healing path

May 04, 2025

Circle of Joy is where this work comes to life - a soft space for deep feelers and gentle action-takers. Guided practices and live sessions for subscribers. You’re warmly invited to join us.

There’s something I need to tell you:
I didn’t come to decluttering because I loved order.
I came to it because I was falling apart.

Let me backtrack.

I grew up in an immaculate household. Both my parents carry Japanese cultural influences, and my mum - bless her - is borderline OCD with how she runs her space.

She’s the queen of letting go — but only in the most efficient way possible. Efficiency is her love language. Clutter didn’t stand a chance.

But here’s the thing: while the house was pristine…
my inner world was a mess.

I was the “too sensitive” child. The one who cried easily. Who felt the hurt in the room before anyone spoke it out loud. Who got bullied ruthlessly, retreated, and quietly started believing that something was wrong with me.

Over the years, I developed exquisite coping mechanisms:

I ran — from countries, jobs, and versions of myself.
I shopped — compulsively, searching for comfort I couldn’t name.
I numbed — with substances, distractions, and love that didn’t love me back.

On the outside, I looked fine. Functional. Even successful.
On the inside, I carried invisible and visible scars —
and the undercurrent of deep self-loathing never turned off.

The Unexpected Click

It was during the final trimester of my pregnancy — deeply hormonal, nesting, and trying to hold it all together — that I stumbled across Marie Kondo’s book.

And something just… clicked.

I realised I’d been tidying wrong my entire life. I was trying to control the external without ever listening to the internal. I’d been shaming myself into order, instead of learning to let go with love.

Gratitude — that tiny shift — cracked something open in me.

It became a doorway to self-acceptance.
A way to welcome all the parts of me back home.
My first taste of embodied healing — and the quiet power of honoring my truth.

But Here’s What I Didn’t Know Yet…

I was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
No one had ever named that for me.

So even as I stopped shopping to soothe…
Even as my home got calmer…
My nervous system was still screaming.

I was navigating early motherhood.
I was running a business.
I was sleep-deprived, touched-out, overstimulated — and wondering why the smallest noise could tip me into despair.

Then I found Dr. Elaine Aron’s work — and the lights turned on.

It wasn’t all in my head.
It was in my wiring.
And suddenly, everything made sense.

The Real Clutter Is Energetic

What I now know is this:

Clutter isn’t just stuff.
It’s unprocessed emotion.
It’s inherited expectations.
It’s guilt, grief, outdated identities.
It’s every version of you you’ve ever been — stacked up in corners and shelves.

For HSPs and sensitive souls, clutter doesn’t just distract — it drains.
Because everything in your home holds energy. And when you’re deeply attuned, it’s like living inside an emotional amplifier.

This is why so many healers, creatives, and heart-led entrepreneurs feel stuck.
Their physical space is working against them — keeping them overwhelmed, dysregulated, and out of alignment with their brilliance.

What I’m Here to Offer You

This space on Substack isn’t about aesthetics.
It’s not about minimalism, or being “neat,” or folding socks perfectly.

It’s about making space for your full being to emerge.
It’s about learning to let go — not with force, but with reverence.
It’s about supporting your nervous system through real, tangible practice, so your inner work has somewhere safe to land.

You’ll find:

✧ Soulful reflections
✧ Gentle monthly themes to create space in your mind and home
✧ Live decluttering sessions to create momentum — joyfully, together
✧ Quiet rituals and journal prompts to help you come home to yourself

If you’re on a healing path…
If you’re tired of your space keeping you small…
If you’re ready to create room to breathe, to build, to be…

You’re in the right place. Welcome home.

With joy & gratitude,
Rebecca Jo-Rushdy

✧ If this resonates, I’d love if you subscribed or shared this with a sensitive soul who needs it.
Live sessions + deeper practices offered for subscribers 💛