From Silence to Sensitivity: Healing Generational Wounds with Gratitude
How reframing childhood stories brought me back to myself - and shaped how I parent today.
Reading Mei Ling’s recent post on being a cycle breaker stirred something tender in me. It reminded me of the long, winding path of healing — how gratitude, forgiveness, and intuition often grow from the quiet cracks of our childhood.
I was the “independent” one. The youngest, with a six-year age gap, unexpected — often left to my own devices. My family didn’t talk much at the dinner table, though they were deeply social in faith circles. Love and attention felt like something you had to earn. By seven, I was reading the news and learning about stocks so I could have a conversation with my dad.
I carried bitterness for years - watching how animated my parents were with others and wondering what was wrong with me. But over time, I’ve worked to reframe and let go of those early stories through the lens of compassion and context. A few shifts that helped me soften:
My father didn’t have a role model who knew how to parent. His life was centred around faith and survival. He was taking solo train journeys at six, working part-time jobs by ten, and funding his siblings’ education while still a university student. Despite the discrimination he faced in Japan, he never projected that pain onto us. Instead, he passed on this ethos: “Work is fun — it’s like school, except you get paid to learn.”
My mother has done deep healing of her own to become a cycle breaker. About eight years ago at the age of 61, during her family counselling training, she apologised to me and my sister for all the rage. I remember that moment vividly — by then, I was a parent to a toddler. I simply said: “Thank you. It’s not your fault. You didn’t know better. You didn’t have the internet back then… 😂”
She came from a family filled with tender love, and suddenly found herself a bewildered young mother — fresh out of university, alone in a new city, parenting without community support while my father travelled for weeks at a time. There were no WhatsApps or video calls back then — just postcards that often arrived after he’d already returned.
I felt her deep fear and loneliness, even as a toddler. And I thank her often now — for paving the way, so we can break the cycle for our own children.
This is what healing has looked like for me:
✨ Reframing the silence not as neglect, but as a space for them to rest.
✨ Seeing their struggles not as failings, but as quiet strength.
✨ Using gratitude not to bypass pain, but to make peace with it.
I went down the winding road — self-loathing, addiction (to substances, people, chronic consumption) — looking for the love I craved. But I’ve always been sensitive. Intuitive. And that inner compass, though once buried under debris, never broke.
We just need to sift through the clutter to allow it to breathe again.
I’m still healing — and I’m grateful I get to gently guide others through their outer worlds, so they can reconnect with their inner ones.
It’s why I believe our sensitivity isn’t a flaw — it’s a gift. A superpower. A signal that we feel deeply, love fiercely, and can transmute pain into purpose.
Thank you, Mei Ling, for this reminder. I’m grateful to be walking this healing path — and for the heart-space created when we honour where we’ve come from.
With joy & gratitude,
Rebecca
Cycle Breakers, Then and Now
These are childhood photos of me and my husband, Karim — two sensitive kids who grew up in very different worlds, both learning early how to navigate silence, expectations, and ancestral weight. As the eldest, he became a young carer by the age of 7.
We didn’t have the language for it then. But now, we do.
We’re committed to breaking cycles — for our daughters, and for the little versions of ourselves who didn’t always feel seen.
For our girls — may they inherit love that feels safe, emotions that feel welcome, and a home that always holds. 💛
Circle of Joy is where this work comes to life - a soft, grounded space for deep feelers and gentle action-takers. It’s where we go beyond the ideas and into embodied practice, with live sessions, guided reflections, and community support. Available to paid subscribers - and you’re warmly invited to join us.
Looking for deeper support?
If you’re craving more personalised guidance on your decluttering journey—especially around emotional or legacy-related clutter - I offer a limited number of 1:1 mentorship sessions each month.
Whether you're navigating a transition, feeling stuck, or simply want a calm, supportive space to explore what’s next, this is for you.
💛 Learn more here → sparkjoyandflow.com/mentorship
Sometimes you don’t need a whole program — just space be seen, supported, and gently guided forward. That’s what the Power Flow Session is for. You can book your session with me here → https://calendly.com/sparkjoyandflow/power-flow
Reading this is bringing tears to my eyes, Becca. Just like you, now that I’m older and learning about my parents’ histories, I’m realizing just how much we’re all affected by our lineage’s cycles and patterns. I first met you when you were young, and have witnessed your multiple rebirths. You really are the most amazing soul - compassionate, wise, super multi-tasker and so loving!