I’ve Changed. They’ve Changed.

On friendship, grief, and finding belonging within

Circle of Joy is where this work comes to life - a soft space for deep feelers and gentle action-takers. Guided practices for subscribers are coming soon. You’re warmly invited to join us.

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This past year, I had to let go of a few legacy friendships.

It wasn’t a clean break - more like a slow, aching pause. And as someone living with chronic depression and anxiety, it cracked open old wounds I thought I had already healed. I found myself spiraling, suddenly 11 again: rejected, alone, unsure of where I belonged.

We had also just moved (again) within a city I didn’t yet feel settled in. And even though I’ve moved my whole life - always the outsider, always adapting - trying to build new friendships in a new community pushed me to the edge. As an introverted omnivert, it nearly sent me into full panic. Beneath that panic were whispers from old stories - soft but sharp: you’re too much, you’ll never fit in, why can’t you just be normal? And sitting with that voice - not running from it - became its own kind of practice.

I’ve been on this healing journey seriously for over a decade now. I’m doing the work so my daughters inherit something deeper than wealth - an inner compass they can trust, long after I’m gone. And what’s helped me, over and over, is the practice of letting go with gratitude - the heart of the KonMari Method. It softened the edges and gave me something to hold onto in the middle of the ache.

I started to release those soft but sharp whispers of old stories:

• That I’m too much or not enough

• That I have to belong somewhere to feel safe

• That my messy, complicated origin story makes me unrelatable

Years of telling myself those stories like a broken record has taken time to rewire. My word of the year is patience, and it’s been carrying me through.

Here are some reframes I’m practicing — and teaching my kids along the way:

• I am more than enough, and worthy of taking up space

• I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, nor will everyone be mine - and that’s okay

• We can serve from a place of fullness - and say no without guilt.

• I don’t need to belong to anyone but myself

Each time we let go, we get to choose how.
We can let go with peace. With gratitude. With grace.

Acceptance has been my teacher.
I’ve changed. They’ve changed. And that’s okay.

I can be grateful for the lessons and still grieve what was.
I can walk away, take a break, shift my energy — without bitterness.
That’s been the biggest revelation of all.

Moving and making friends in my late 30s has taught me more than I could have imagined. My happiness and sadness are no longer tethered to anyone else.

And maybe that’s why I finally felt ready to share here, on Substack - because my self-worth no longer hinges on likes, followers, or validation.

I’m choosing to show up. Because I know how life-changing it is to learn how to create space for joy.

This is for anyone who’s ever felt alone, excluded, not enough, an outsider.
You’re not alone. And there is so much space for your joy.

With love & gratitude,
Rebecca

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P.S. If you're craving more peace, softness, and soulful momentum — you're warmly invited to join us. The guided section for Circle of Joy subscribers includes monthly themes, journaling prompts, and gentle nudges to help you clear space and come home to yourself.